Fear That I Have Experienced

Upon considering what I feared the most in my Christian life I immediately thought back over the previous year. The greatest fear that occurred in my life during this year: the responsibility of conducting a funeral.

Now it was not the funeral itself that I feared, but it was the responsibilities entailed in such an overwhelming task. I have never been one to shun responsibility, but here I was, in my first pastorate, faced with the task of presiding at the funeral of one of my dear friends.

The fear of failure sunk in. What if I disappointed the family and they looked back upon it with a remembrance of distaste? This thought haunted me. If I failed, this would then be a poor example of the ministry as well as a poor witness for Jesus.

I was therefore at the end of myself. My heart was full of anxiety. I could turn to no resource in myself; thus realizing my utter helplessness, I called upon God. I was then in the place God wanted me – the place of complete dependence upon Him. Here He could take away my fear and use me for His honor and glory. Thus in conducting the funeral, I leaned by faith on God, enabling Him to glorify His name throughout the service. Praise God!

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